Ningen's Blog Without a Cause: Kai Vs. Tahu

Death Battle Prediction: Kaeidiot Vs. Johnny Tahu - Dawn of Wannabe MCs

No edit, I really don't have the fucks to give for this one.

Is the Matchup Good?

And with that, we've hit half of the matchups this season having the same problem: fine in a vaccum, bad with context (then again, the record was 100% until Bakugo Vs. Reze, which just sucked no matter what).

Look, the theme here is fine. Firey LEGO guys alone is passable, and them being figurative hotheads helps too. Add in the fact they got cucked out of the MC role by some golden Potential Man, and you've got a decent pairing. LEGO not getting on the show would have been a crime, and it getting the first stop-motion fight makes perfect sense.

Now, let's take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

Half of the episodes this season have been filler, obvious stomps, and/or bombed in views (usually all 3). We're coming directly off Aang Vs. Aether being a top 5 biggest bomb in the show's history, and this is what we get?

Before anyone points this out, yes, filler matchups that give comparatively obscure characters some shine are cool. But you have to balance those with shit people actually want to see. Otherwise, people get less interested in the popular matchups too, like with Yuji Vs. Denji underperforming at least in part due to prior shonen spam. You can't say that's not true when Gru Vs. Megamind got more views. The show needs balance in what's used.

Look, maybe you don't care about the show doing well in views. I think that's pretty silly, but if you're just here for the quality of an episode, fine. Even from that perspective, this matchup is really dumb.

If you really wanted an all-LEGO episode, or just Ninjago Vs. BIONICLE...why is this not Lloyd Vs. Takanuva? You know, the actual protags of both series? The guys that get more powers, feats, character development, etc.?

I'm definitely in the camp of this only happening to try and sell more pitches. I know Kai Vs. Tahu itself didn't get a pitch, but both characters did. But wouldn't Lloyd Vs. Takanuva do the same thing? They still aren't that popular compared to most characters this show uses.

And let's be real: the hardcore fans of this show are basically a cult. They're throwing their wallets at the screen for this shit.

What I Want to See

The pyrotechnics looking cool and being used in interesting ways. Obviously, the stop-motion being fairly smooth and just nice to look at is the main positive of this episode.

That's about it. Aside from Bakugo Vs. Reze, this is the least interested I've been in an episode for a long while. The last one's, what, Guts Vs. Dimidtri? Even that at least had a character I really liked.

No, this doesn't mean the fight will be bad. I'm just not excited for it.

Who Should Win?

Kai's got more formal training that we know of, but considering Tahu's been alive and active as a fighter for millennia, I'd imagine he's more skilled. But both are pretty straight-forward fighters, so this is a marginal advantage. More notable is Tahu's biomechanical nature, letting him re-attach limbs pretty quick. That'll make winning a conventional sword duel a lot harder, doubly so thanks to Tahu's twin broadswords (which can fuse together lighstaber style) and other tech.

"Just get to the🔥already"

No surprise for guessing the big, unique question of this fight: who has the better Element of Fire? If we're talking how they handle heat, Tahu gets the edge. Even when depowered, he briefly handled a dip in lava, and believed he'd be unharmed with his fire powers. That's backed up by him famously (relatively speaking) surfing on lava inside a volcano. Kai can withstand fire, but needed to train his resistance up with hot coals. There's one source that says he can handle temperatures over 1,000 degrees Celsius (1,832 degrees Fahrenehit), but it's contradicted by the main series. Plus, that's still typically a lower temperature than lava. Sure, his True Potential form could make a shield that withstood an erupting volcano, but that was a one-time thing (the writers nerfed the ninja out of those forms; seriously, they admitted it).

This lines up with the temperature each fighter's operating at. Kai can melt house-sized boulders, but Tahu turnt "a few thousand tons of sand" into glass. We don't know exactly what stone and sand were melted here, but Tahu's fire would be several hundred degrees hotter. That presents a clear offensive advantage, and this continues with their usage of fire. Both can control, generate, dispel, and absorb fire, even heat as a whole. You might think those last two make pyrokinesis a nonbo, and that's mostly true...for Kai. Tahu can actually ignite air Mustang style. In the series, he just uses this to blow a hole through stone. With morals-off, he could theoretically just ignite Kai's brain or something.

Even with Kai having more abilities overall thanks to Spinjitzu, he really doesn't have a counter to this. For a victory, he's just got to have better stats.

So...does he?

Regarding speed, its pretty even. Both aren't typically portrayed as having crazy speed, but on an upper-end they and numerous other comparable characters have several lightning-timing feats. But power is a different story.

Kai took a punch from some mountain-sized monster; it hurt, but he could still fight. That's consistent with him fighting kaiju, even slicing one up and sending an even larger amount of water flying upward with simple air pressure. That outclasses anything we've seen Tahu do. Sure, he can melt thousands of tons of sand, but not all at once; it took continous exposure spreading-out.

Looking at scaling, Tahu's fellow Toa have a variety of statements and feats involving the movement and partial destruction of mountains, lining up with Tahu himself destroying part of one. Most impressively, 3 Toa working together melted mountains into slag. This mountain-related scale really doesn't line up with how the characters usually operate, but there is some clear narrative intent behind it.

But applying the same standard to Kai, we've seen him help stop Mergequakes, and we know he did it on his own one-time. The guy even withstood the Merge happening.

Why's that important? Because Mergequakes alone involve Ninjago's Realms physically slamming into each other, and the Merge included all of them. Without getting into the weeds of lore (trust me, we don't need to), these things are at least country-sized. That might sound crazy for Kai, but he's stronger than kid Lloyd, who was already comparable to the Scythe of Quakes, which helped form Ninjago's continents.

So no matter what ends you use, Kai's just way stronger, tougher, and more powerful. Tahu's only chance would be his Nova Blast, which takes time to charge and uses up all his energy. Using Word of God, you could get that up to Planet level. But not only is that very dubious, its one move with clear vulnerabilities. Tahu wouldn't even want to use it unless he knows its his best bet. The same goes for that 'denotate the brain' trick.

All Kai has to do is hit Tahu once, which should be pretty easy. And if we're going buckwild with Tahu's scaling, being that lenient to Kai places him at universal via individual Golden Weapons potentially creating universes.

But Who Will Win?

Uh...did you read the stats section? Just copy-paste that.

Sure, Death Battle will probably give them both equipment they don't have anymore, but it really shouldn't make a difference. Both get more ways to win, but Kai still just needs one grazing hit here. Tahu needs the powers of other Masks he can't use simultaneously, and very specific ones at that.

Final Thoughts

Just to reiterate, I always have fun doing these and watching the episodes (even when they suck). I doubt this will be the worst episode of the season. But the show really needs to get some momentum back. Hopefully that next-time they're hyping up really does cook. As for now...at least we get a stop-motion fight. Booking aside, that's legitimately really cool.